MOTHER VS CAREER: This is where the battle ends

You don't have to choose between being the mother you want to be and having a career that matters

For ambitious mothers navigating the identity shift of matrescence — without losing yourself in the process

You used to know exactly who you were.

Ambitious. Capable. Clear about what you wanted.

Then you became a mother — and suddenly you don't recognize yourself.

You're stuck between who you used to be and who you're becoming, wondering if you've lost your ambition or if ambition even means the same thing anymore.

Your desire for meaningful work feels in direct conflict with the mother you want to be. It seems like it has to be one or the other.

You have everything you ever wanted but somehow still find motherhood SO difficult, which makes you feel ungrateful and confused.

You wonder why no one told you it would be like this — this complete rewiring of everything you thought you knew about yourself.

Here's what nobody tells you: This isn't your fault.

What you're experiencing has a name: Matrescence — the massive identity shift that happens when you become a mother. It's as significant as adolescence, but society forgot to tell you that.

It's not that you're not cut out for this. You're not failing. You're transforming.

On top of this massive internal shift, you're navigating this transformation in a culture that:

  • Doesn't value care work

  • Expects you to be the "perfect mother" while remaining the "perfect employee"

  • Has systemic biases against mothers built into its foundation

  • Keeps selling you the myth that you can "have it all" without changing anything, you just have to "bounce back"

The system is the problem, not you.

But here's what the system doesn't want you to know: This disorienting phase isn't something to survive — it's your invitation to create the life you REALLY want.

Imagine if you could:

And what if you could live your best life as a mom and woman TODAY, not "when the kids are older"?

Meet your Guide: Babette Lockefeer

The Expert in Personal Development Who Gets Motherhood
Former corporate-ladder-climber at McKinsey and Alibaba. 8+ years of personal (leadership) development expertise. Studied with Matrescence experts, and, most importantly: mother of three little boys who has navigated matrescence across multiple countries and situations.

"I know what it's like to excel in demanding careers AND navigate the complete identity shift of motherhood. I've been lost in the overwhelm, and I've found the power. This work combines my deep expertise in personal development with the lived, raw experience of matrescence transformation."

What if motherhood wasn't the end of your ambition, but the beginning of your most authentic leadership, at home, in your career, anywhere?

Here's what nobody tells you: Motherhood IS leadership.

Through matrescence, you're undergoing the exact same personal transformation that traditional leadership development programs spend years trying to create. You're developing emotional intelligence, learning to navigate paradoxes, building resilience, and becoming more authentic — all while your brain has enhanced neuroplasticity that makes this growth faster and more profound than any corporate training.

Being the mom you are, you are already becoming the leader this world needs. You just need to recognize it.

Featured in

Curious? Start with the Free Mother on MY Termsheet

What fellow moms say:

It really was ground breaking. If I look back on it, it's the most favorite course I probably have ever done. It has been more transformative than the courses I took at Berkeley, Insead and Yale, because you work with my lived experience, and the course provides both an understanding AND the tools for how to actually live a more authentic life.

Eveline - Mom of 1 and Finance Leader at Shell

This journey has made the constant guilt I felt being at work vs. being with my kids go away. Becoming a mother is the best leadership class I had (and I've had many), it just took this course to recognize it.

Nienke - Mom of 2 and Founder at Brightwise

It was mindblowing. Mother on MY Terms showed me there's a reason for feeling the way I was feeling after going back to work as a new mom. The societal and scientific explanations we learn about bring it all into the picture. It helps you to take a step back and realize what you’ve gone through.

I now see motherhood as an opportunity, as so powerful. What an amazing power we have to create life and be mothers in this day and age. I certainly feel more empowered.

Laura - Mom of 2 and Director at ING Bank

The results of their transformations:

How they created a 'Motherhood on MY Terms'

  • A director with a decade+ in corporate first gor promoted after the program, and then quit her job to pursue her lifelong passion (and talent): dancing

  • A lawyer in a high-paced job achieved inner alignment about choosing a 9-5 in law and negotiated 4 extra months of holidays during her transition

  • A project manager in corporate started her own business on the side to test if the transition fits her

  • A manager took the GM offer in her company after negotiating her boundaries so sharply she feels comfortable doing this while being the mom she wants to be (including long summer breaks and minimized travel)

  • A sustainability advisor quit her 14-year high-potential job to take her family abroad on a sabbatical

  • An ex-CEO turned climate expert chose to take her kids out of childcare and spend significant time with them at home (because she finally realized she's 'allowed' to do that, despite what her environment expected)

  • A consultant chose to go from 5 to 4 days, and spent 50% of that extra time as pure me-time

  • A finance leader brushed off an old hobby and attended a sports instruction course, just because it fills her cup besides her job

How to work with me

Mother on My Terms

How to have a career that matters without compromising how you want to raise your children (no self-erasure or powering through required)

Program for moms with kids between 0-5

The complete Working Mom Renaissance Method™ : from understanding Matrescence to rewiring your mindset to creating your life and career on YOUR Terms.

Family Model Canvas©

Real equality for Dual-Career Parents

Self-paced, online, lifetime access

A strategic framework for dual-career parents navigating the impossible balance of two careers, young children, and an equal partnership.

Stop negotiating everything from scratch. Start building a family operating system that actually works—for both careers, your partnership, and your sanity.

For Pregnant women (also 2nd time)

The Pregnancy course for the real work: motherhood

Course for Pregnant women who want to be prepared versus overwhelmed. This is the concise Matrescence education every women needs.

The ONLY course that focusses on what 'becoming a mom' will mean for you, as a woman. (Dutch Only)

Free resources

to help you in this transition

Want to start exploring what mothering on YOUR TERMS might look like? Download the free Mother on MY Termsheet

Dying to understand Matrescence better? Check free Audio series

Struggeling with Mom Guilt? Sign up for upcoming workshop

Speaking or hosting workshops

Whether it is about Motherhood as Leadership, Matrescence, Mom Guilt, Dual-career Parenthood, there is a lot to talk about!

Why this work matters now

Yes, especially in the first intense years of motherhood

The Science of Timing: The first few years after birth are an optimal window for transformation. Your brain is more changeable in the 3 years post-birth than any time since adolescence.

The Cost of Waiting: Every month you stay stuck is a month not living as yourself. This feeling won't resolve on its own.

The Opportunity: You're already undergoing a profound transformation that's rewiring your brain and reshaping your values. With the right support, you can leverage this natural process to create a life that's deeply aligned with who you're becoming and what truly matters to you — instead of fighting against yourself.

This is your moment

You have two choices:

🤯 Option 1: Keep struggling in silence, hoping it gets easier, watching months turn into years while you feel increasingly disconnected from who you used to be.

💎Option 2: Recognize that what you're experiencing is normal, powerful, and full of potential — and get the support you deserve to navigate it with clarity and confidence.

Every month you wait is a month not living as yourself.

You don't have to figure this out alone.

Feeling like You're alone in this?

You can't do this work in isolation from your partnership.

You're undergoing matrescence while your partner is... [looking like their life continues like normal]. Most couples slide into default patterns: one career takes precedence, one person holds the mental load, resentment grows in silence.

Just 9% of couples wanting equality actually build it. The rest live with a painful gap between what they envisioned and what they're actually experiencing.

This isn't personal failure. This is a structure gap.

The same intentional thinking that helps you create YOUR motherhood? Your partnership needs that too.

The Family Model Canvas that is part of my flagship program 'Mother on MY Terms' is now available as a separate, self-paced option.

The Family Model Canvas©

Stop repeating the same fight. Start creating a family that functions.

A strategic framework helping dual-career parents get aligned on what you're likely fighting about: whose career matters more, who owns what, how to decide things without tracking points.

This isn't therapy. It's a business approach for your most critical partnership—because when family operations are left to "happen organically," what actually happens is chaos and the mental load landing squarely on you.

The structure isn't replacing love. The structure creates space FOR love.

Free

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